Life can change without your consent. Are you ready?
For as long as humans existed, change has been and always will be a part of human existence. We are at the top of the food chain because we are adoptive, more so than any other creatures on earth. Some meet the changes with open arms while others fear them. Despite how people react differently to a change, in the end, change will take place regardless of one’s consent.
Change is part of life. Every day, without your consent, our body ages, children grow into adulthood, relationships change for better or worse, our jobs or school evolve, and our environment changes even as you read this. Many cling to what is familiar and change depressed them, but when you think about it, change is necessary. Change is what brought us here and now.
Want proof? Look back for just ten years of your life. How much has remained the same? Too far back? How about one year ago? You may feel you have not changed at all. But take out a photo from a year ago and you will see both physical and mental changes. In a year's time, some of you may have gained a different perspective on life; some may have gained or lost weight; some may have lost a loved one or gained a new family member. Some changes are so small that you do not even notice them until they surprise you.
There are many, however, who wish to hold on to what is familiar and not change at all. But what happens if there is no change? A river flows and thus changes with time. If it did not and stood still, over time it would rot and become a swamp.
What happens when we stop changing, when our mind stops learning, and does not engage? Our brain ages faster, and our body follows suit. How about technology? When it stops and there is no advancement, it breaks down.
Even personal relationships need to grow. In the beginning, you spend time learning about each other, and the relationship deepens. However, when one or both lose interest, the relationship falls apart. We are meant to progress, evolve, and adapt. It is what makes us different from other mammals. Our constant need to know more, reach further, and become better is what makes us advance and progress to where we are now.
In fact, change is the only reliable thing about life, everything in life will not stay the same. When we deny change, it can stop us on our life’s track. When we do not open to the possibility of change, we put our body and mind into conflict, causing stress, anxiety, or depression. When we do not adapt or admit that things change, or that the change has happened, we deny ourselves growth and a chance to evolve.
I often tell clients to keep a recording of their experiences and be honest about what they are currently feeling. Such a journal helps them to examine their inner thoughts. And such self-examination may lead to finding or understanding the cause of their fear of facing the current unpleasant situations.
Allow yourself to express your emotions in creative projects or writing. Creatively expressing your inner feeling is very therapeutic to some. If creating is not your thing, talk to someone, a close friend, or a professional, or join a support group.
Setting a realistic timeline for your overall state of mind is also a good way to keep a tab on your personal growth.
When my mother passed away unexpectedly, I was devastated and saw no end to my grief. I gave myself a year to pick up the pieces on my own but after that year, I realized I was still not myself. When the anniversary of her first year of passing came around, I knew I had to seek professional help. I placed myself into therapy. During therapy, although I was not completely myself, I knew I was heading in the right direction when I began to think of life as less of a burden. The recovery process took about two years, a long journey to find myself again
My own experience inspired me to create the Personal Lifeline Plan. I use this to assist other clients who face similar situations. I encourage my clients to create one for themselves. As the famous poet Rumi once said, "Don't get lost in your pain, know that one day your pain will become your cure."
Do you have the plan to get yourself out of fear when you are faced with unexpected changes in life? Whether you are dealing with loss or an unsettling situation, creating a personal lifeline plan could help you cope until you are ready to face the challenges of the changes.
Change is a scary thing. But adversity is part of life, just as happiness, joy, and sorrow are. Fear of change can cripple growth. The hard truth is, that life will go on without you. When you do not embrace change or at least accept it, life will leave you behind.
