Strategies to deal with unavoidable people during holiday gathering
Kicking in the Holiday Greetings Photo Card
[Souce: CreativeLuv.com]
From sparkling decorations to fabulous food to reuniting with dearly missed family and friends, hosting or attending a holiday event is exciting. However, it is also a time of great stress for most. Too often, people you have not seen for a while will also be invited, and in the process of catching up, they may ask about your private affairs or give you unsolicited advice. So, whether you are hosting or attending a holiday event, here are a few ways to deal with people and situations that make you feel uncomfortable. With these holiday mental preparations, you can navigate those stressful events.
1. Get plenty of sleep
- Lack of sleep can hinder you from thinking clearly by altering your emotions and mood significantly. In stressful situations, it can even cause irritability and anger. Your ability to cope will be lessened and will cause havoc on relationships during the holidays. If you need assistance in getting a good night’s rest, you can see your physician or opt for the many natural ways such as limiting light exposure, meditation, tea, melatonin, magnesium, or over-the-counter sleep aid.
2. Breathe and smile
- When under stress, our breathing changes to a shallow and small breathing pattern without our knowledge. Shallow breathing can prolong the feeling of anxiety and worsen your symptoms of stress. So, take a deep breath and smile even if you are not in the mood. Science has shown that using your smile muscle will lift your mood, lower stress, and even boost your immune system.
3. Create a buddy system
- During holiday chaos, arrange a buddy system by teaming up with someone before a party and produce a way to signal each other when you need an intervention. By making you feel you are not alone, a friend will bring emotional stability. And after the party, you and your friend can bond and reflect.
4. Be a superhero at the party
- When you find yourself stuck with a group or a situation where you wish to step away, find someone else in the party to help. Quickly survey the room and see if anyone needs your help. For example, an elderly uncle who needs assistance off his chair, someone who needs more drink, or a child who needs attention. In such a situation, you are helping others and helping yourself. If you must assist someone in need then it is hard for someone to be selfish and hold you in one spot.
5. Become a topic-changing artist
- If you are on an uncomfortably heavy topic, try to switch to light-hearted topics to throw the other person off the main topic. Some things you could try: (1) point out something that is happening around you (2) bring into conversation someone you already know (3) use the music that is playing to bring back memories or current celebrity gossip.
- If it is hard to change the topic in the middle of a heavy conversation, step away by excusing yourself to the bathroom or getting another drink and remain there for a few minutes to clear your head. When you do return, pick a new topic.
6. Find something to compliment them
- If unable to get away or change the topic of the discussion, then compliment them. It is a good distraction because when people receive praise, they are more attentive and open to your suggestions. But remember to be sincere and ask more questions about the subject you had genuinely complimented.
7. Answer a question with a question
- If someone at a party asks a personal question that you do not wish to answer then reply with a smile and reflect the same question back to them. Just like the game of tennis, serve them the same question back to the same person. For example, when someone asks, "When are you going to have a baby, get married, buy a house, etc." then asks them the same question "When was the right time for you?"
8. Redirect to what is important
- Navigating a conversation from where the speaker wants the conversation to go to where you want the conversation to go takes a good amount of skill. So, you might have to practice this deflecting skill before you put it into action. First, find a clue as to what is important in a conversation. For example, if someone is talking about how many people got sick during the pandemic, you can redirect it by pointing out what is important by saying, “What is important is that we are healthy”. Then add that during the pandemic you learned a new skill. Now you go into the new topic focusing on the new skill learned during the pandemic.
9. Transition the conversation
- An effortless way to change the conversation is to introduce discreet transitional words such as “that reminds me of”, “By the way”, or “really, have you thought about” or “yes, but”. These phrases link with the conversation in the direction that you want to go. For example, someone dominates the conversation about their new home, and you want to change the conversation. Try using one of the transitional conversations. “Yes, I am excited about your new home in the suburbs, but I love living in the city”. From there, you can talk about city living.
Lastly, remember that most of the unsolicited advice and the questions on personal matters are often from people who are asking from their hearts because they love and care about you. Acknowledge them and understand what they are asking questions about because they care about you. Many times, just a simple gesture of a smile, rubbing their arm, a hug, or a kiss is all that they need as reassurance. Also, remember that most of the time, it is for just one night. Being patient and trying to see things from their point of view will make a significant difference in one person’s day.
